Journal writing experience

 Taking a moment to consider approaches to journal writing I have taken across this module.

I have explored writing through the Gibb's reflective model, using the frameworks of Reid and Moon. 

What I have found with The Gibb's model is I am only entering the first layer of the depth of my reflection. I found that I had some strategies for what I might do differently but did not seem to have reached the undercurrent of the reasons for some of my behaviours or actions. This left less of a memorable mark on me and my approach to what I will try differently next time.

With the frameworks of Reid and Moon I was able to reach more of a 'double loop' learning level if relating to Schon's theories. 

I found I had great resistance in creating graphs or charts as I am simply not much of a graph or chart kind of person. However, I adapted this and created a landscape of my day instead. This seemed to be reflective of my mood and emotions at each part of the day with hills representing the high points where I was feeling fulfilled and the valleys representing the darker feelings of the day. This made me consider how I definitely am writing from a place of emotion most of the time and had me considering the implications of that on the validity of my reflection. How can I know if I am truly seeing things for what they are.

This was where writing from another perspective was useful as it made me realise that often I am assuming situations are personal when in fact they are simply another person's challenge, and I am taking on full responsibility for something which is not my sole responsibility. This was important to identify, because I know that I play a part within the responsibility, but usually other people do as well. 

However, I also found this quite challenging to see how others may have viewed my day and it took a bit of time to get into. This also made me think of the area of mental health because to someone else my day might have looked like a perfect dream and yet behind closed doors I might have been really struggling. It made me think of how mental health and trauma cannot be seen and that is what makes these areas so hard to recognise and help people with.

It is one of the key areas of wonder emerging for me.

It led me back to one of the first questions I journalled about when embarking on this MA and now that I am coming up to the end of Module 1 I return to the question with further depth - 

Why have I found myself doing this MA?

Because I want to learn more

To make sense of what I have been through. To help others overcome trauma with dance.

To move towards a more educated background

To understand my students and help them to overcome challenges

To equip me to create my own projects

To dance and find my own voice within this profession

Because I want my work to be recognised at MA level.

To equip me to create artistic workshops

To work with those overcoming trauma and finding their ways back into dance through holistic approaches

Mental health understanding for dancers

To make a strong impact on the dance community

But I must say that in terms of my journalling there have been times across this module when words have simply felt inadequate to express what I was trying to say. In these times I have improvised, collaged or engaged in freewriting. Then from there have drawn out the meaning behind what I have created. Below is a collage which was my starting point for my reflection of learning across Module 1.

It seems to represent the ever-evolving process of learning, the stormy sea we can find ourselves in and yet the balance between these turbulent times and the calm seas. The embellishments are representative of the insights of wisdom and the strands of string show the thread of perseverance running through it all.