Performing Odette, Reflecting, reading, exploring!

 It's been a somewhat crazy week! So just getting round to blogging now and replying to comments today. 

I was dancing Odette in Stoke on Trent last weekend. It was a very special experience. There was a deeper level of performance that I felt I reached than when I last did the role. Perhaps because it was the 2nd time I had performed it and therefore it felt very much more embedded within my body. I felt like I was able to lose myself in the role much more easily. There were technical aspects which still need improvement but artistically I felt I was exploring new territory.

But I am also more aware than ever that it is my ability to maintain a positive psychological state and optimal level of arousal which perhaps allowed for better performance. Matthew's comment on my recent CV post has encouraged me to share a little more about the courses I undertook over the last few years in Colour Therapy and Sports psychology. I am also still in the process of completing a course in stress management. All of these courses I was perhaps drawn to because I was seeking ways to manage performance anxiety and psychological self-management generally. They have been a huge help to me and provided me with many techniques including visualisation, positive self-talk strategies and a much deeper understanding of the true power of the mind and how mental training is just as important as physical training in the training of a dancer.

Knowing myself and my tendency to get overwhelmed I switched my focus last week to reflective journalling and reading while I was busy performing.

Through looking at my journal over the last week, what I have noticed more than ever is just how much this recent experience of dancing Odette has motivated me to push harder and get to the next level in my dancing. 

I was exploring these questions as well and so I thought I would share some of these here.

What in your daily practise gets you really enthusiastic to find out more about?

How trauma affects and manifests within the body.

Why people act the way they do.

The creative process of collaboration with a choreographer.

How I can develop my ability to direct other by using an empowering approach.

Bringing ballet to people who would not otherwise access it.

Dancer health.

Connecting to an audience

 Reaching a deep level of characterisation within the roles I dance

 

Who do you admire who also works with what makes you enthusiastic?

These are all people who all work or have worked in areas I am interested in, and I deeply admire all of them. They are just a very small proportion of the people I admire really because I when I think about it I realise just how many people I truly admire for different reasons.

Anna Pavlova, Kathryn Morgan, Misty Copeland,

Terry Hyde (dance psychotherapist) Lucie Clemence (Dance psychologist)

Nicky Keay (endocrinologist specialising in dancers, Stephanie Potreck (Dance nutritionist and doctor), Claudia Bagley. Layla Harrison (former dancer, now teacher). Alice Crawford (former dancer now teacher).

Sally Marie (director, choreographer), Jack Philp (dancer, director and choreographer)

 

 

What gets you angry or makes you sad?

Dismissal of children’s needs and feelings.

 Dictatorship in directorship.

Not feeling I have a voice within the working environment.

 

 

Who do you admire who shares your feelings or has found away to work around the sadness or anger? Alice Crawford, Emily Pimm, Julianne Rice Oxley. Steven McRae, Amy

 

 What do you love about what you do?

I love to get into an honest place with the roles I dance. I love collaborating with artists across diverse disciplines. I love to work with children, especially those who are dealing with mental health challenges and helping to build their confidence.  I love performing when I really know a role and feel prepared for it. I love reaching people who I wouldn’t ordinarily get to connect with by bringing dance to them. I love dancing in unusual places.

 

 Who do you admire who also seems to love this or is an example of what you love?

I feel that once again I am returning to Anna Pavlova as my biggest inspiration. She was the focus of my BAPP and my interest in her work and the way she bought ballet to so many through authentic and expressionistic performance remains a huge interest of mine.

She is the most prominent person who seems to be this example for me.

 What do you feel you don’t understand?

I feel that I am struggling to understand my place within the industry. I still feel there is a lot of dance within me that I want to share. I don’t understand where the boundaries are in my teaching sometimes, where my responsibility ends so to speak. I have a tendency to feel responsible for everything even that which is not necessarily my fault.

I really want to understand my upper body more so that I have better coordination.

 

Who do you admire who does seem to understand it or who has found a way of making not understanding it interesting or beautiful, or has asked the same questions as you?

Raymond Chai seems to have found his place within the industry as a dancer and teacher and held onto a sense of integrity through his work.

My ballet mistress has given her life to dance and teaches in a way that is nurturing and empowering to young people.

My director has devoted many years to working in this industry and she has such a wonderful port de bras and a true understanding of classicism.

 

These are just a few thoughts based on these questions and I will continue to explore them.

In the meantime I return to my CV as I draw out possible AOLs and my current reading of Schon's 'Educating the reflective practitioner'.