Writing, theory and finding my place within it

 Today I had a supervision with Peter to talk about my tendency to struggle with concise writing. It was most helpful, and he gave me many ideas for how I can better divide up my work into segments to discover what is relevant or missing. My tendency to go way over the word count and then have to totally reconstruct and edit has always been a trait to the way I work, and I am interested to know how I can make improvements in this regard.

I confess I have found it hard navigating my way into this first AOL essay. It is some years since my BA and although I have a lot I want to say, I have found it a challenge to decide which angle to approach the essays from. Trying hard to not go into too much depth in 'what' happened and instead to focus on the learning stemming from it. Yet at the same time some description is necessary.

I realise that I am very good at agreeing with authors and finding existing theory that supports what I am saying. I am finding it more of a challenge to critique existing theory somehow. I believe this carries through into my practice in fact, as at least in most of my training as a ballet dancer I learned that nodding and saying 'yes', even if you disagreed was generally applauded. There have been times when I stood up to authority when I felt strongly about something. But I always felt that I did something wrong by doing this.

Having the courage to trust my own voice is a recurring theme and it has appeared in the first essay I am writing Creative Collaborations in Dance. 

The existing theory which I am exploring for this essay includes the following books:

Burrows, J (2010) A choreographer’s handbook. Oxon: Routledge.

John-Steiner, V. (2006) Creative collaboration. 2^nd Edn. New York: Oxford University Press Inc.

Moon, J. (2006) A handbook of reflective and experiential learning. Oxon: RoutledgeFalmer.

Schon, D (1987) Educating the reflective practitioner. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers.

Tharp, T. (2009) The collaborative habit. New York: Simon and Schuster.

Shobana, J. and Merose, S. (2006) ‘Geo-choreographies: self as site’ in Bannerman, C, Sofaer, J and Watt, J (Eds) in Navigating the unknown: The creative process in contemporary performing arts. London: Middlesex University Press.

I have been encouraged by Helen via her blog to explore what theories exist within my practice and take a look at how I navigate existing concepts.

I have been thinking a lot about the syllabus of ballet lately and the structure of a ballet class. How theoretically we are supposed to dance steps with certain levels of turn out and with certain criteria met. Yet I know that many professional dancers including myself have found ways around many of these criteria because our bodies are simply not designed to fit exactly into those boxes. 

The limited turnout on my right leg for example has had a huge impact on my ability to perform certain steps, and I have had to find ways to if you like 'fake it' or compensate for it with another artistic element. Many people are not aware of this until they watch my plies in 4th position and can't understand why my knee will not go directly to the side. They look at me like I am just not thinking about it, when it's been the focus of my attention since I was 11 years old! But thankfully it is rare that we have to stand at the barre on stage and do plies in 4th position! 

So, is it about finding your place within theory? Making it work for you rather than taking it as truth and not questioning it? Finding your own voice whilst having respect for that knowledge which already stands before you? It is a somewhat liberating idea to me.